Many folks today are creating something called a “bucket list.” This is a list of things to do before you kick the bucket. It’s kind of a neat idea, and of course, it’s important to keep adding to that list as you cross things off. As my hero Erma Bombeck (she might have been quoting Hunter Thompson) once said, she wanted to skid into her grave “broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!’”
That bucket list is important. I have several items on mine and it’s growing! But I’ve started another list in my head. I call it the “wastebasket” list. These are things I never, ever want to do.
Some of the things on that list are probably on a lot of people’s — not everyone is an adrenaline junkie, so not all of us feel compelled to sky dive, bungee jump, wrestle alligators, or zip line. I think the reasons these are on the wastebasket list are self-evident. If you need an explanation, then you take many more risks than I do, and I applaud your courage (if not your wisdom!).
My wastebasket list includes more mundane items. These are things that some people find entertaining, but that don’t attract me in any way. In fact, they made me shudder in revulsion in some cases.
One of these is entering a hot dog eating contest. Actually any kind of eating contest seems silly to me, but hot dogs are the worst. I just watched a winner of a female hot dog eating contest. She ate over 37 hot dogs — with buns — to win. She was also about 98 pounds, soaking wet. I’m sure she felt ill for days afterward.
There’s no prize that would induce me to shove that many hot dogs down my throat in a race to see who could eat the most. Hot dogs are a choking hazard, even when eaten slowly, so it’s definitely in my wastebasket.
Another item on that list is driving an RV cross-country. I don’t think the prospect of driving a car across country is all that enticing, but an RV is definitely in my trashcan. I’ve driven an RV to Florida and, even at a younger age, it was a horrifying experience. I have no desire to see California after a five-day drive in an RV.
Petting a snake is in my wastebasket, too. In fact, if I never see a snake again, that will be just fine. I probably can’t control seeing one, but I can definitely never touch one!
As much as I love to cook and to eat, there are a few foods that have been placed into my trash can — both literally and on the list to never have again! Goat, worms, and carrots top the list. I’ve had all of these and honestly, never again.
So what’s in your wastebasket? Or on your bucket list? Either one is interesting to me!
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Sue is a retired public servant who volunteers at a local elementary school and Hospice and keeps busy taking care of house, husband, son, and pets. She lives just outside of Troy, Ohio.