My friend Betty had me in stitches the other day. I told her that Matt and I had started a diet of low carb and no sugar.
It was hard at first for a couple reasons. First, some of my favorite foods are pasta, potato chips, and french fries – all of which are high in carbohydrates. These are generally consumed with rich sauces and dips. Turns out that on our new diet, we can have all the dips and sauces we want. What we can’t have is anything tasty to put them on. I mean, who really wants to eat guacamole on celery? Or peanut butter on a carrot stick? On the up side, I can have all the bacon and butter I want.
The second reason it was hard is because Matt immediately (and I mean practically after the first meal) lost seven pounds. Two weeks later, I was holding at a net loss of two. After four weeks, though, I caught up with him and it’s all good now.
In fact, I’m getting creative with recipes. In the early stages of my complaining, Betty had me laughing so hard I cried by sharing magazine articles she had read about dieting. You know the kind — “47 Tips for Weight Loss.” Her commentary was priceless, like, “why 47? Why not 48 or 46?”
Another one she found was “Twenty Weight Loss Shortcuts.” If there’s that many short cuts to weight loss, then how have I missed them all? Another one was “Weight Loss Advice That Works” — because we spend our time and effort taking advice that doesn’t work!
It turns out that on this diet, I am forced to stare at magazines in the checkout line. Otherwise, I will stare at (and possibly purchase) a bag of chips or a candy bar. Even sugar free gum is a no-no.
So I did my own research on the latest news in the checkout magazines, and Betty is right. The titles boggle the mind! The first one magazine I saw had a title listed on the cover “One Minute to Flatter Abs.” Now I’m not a total pessimist, but I’m betting they don’t mean abs like mine. One minute will not be sufficient.
The second magazine proclaimed “Pasta Melts Belly Fat!” Take it from a long-time pasta eater, this is simply not true. Unless you light some on fire and put it on your stomach, pasta will not melt belly fat away.
One famous doctor has an article on the cover of his magazine this month that says “Say Yes To Pasta.” The whole reason I’m trying this no-carb diet is because last month he recommended it! He also has “21 Proven Ways to Lose the Weight,” but none of them included saying yes to pasta.
My favorite was in a women’s magazine. An article entitled “Lose Without Dieting” immediately caught my eye. It may not be “dieting,” but any plan that includes a daily beet smoothie is not something I’m going to embrace. How about you?
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Sue is a retired public servant who volunteers at a local elementary school and Hospice and keeps busy taking care of house, husband, son, and pets. She lives just outside of Troy, Ohio.